Cornpoke the town of authentic frontier gibberish

DeletedUser

Howdy there folks, ah'm a-here on the offchance any of you folks perusin' this fine advertisement board here are lookin' fer a town where we likes ta lay back, chew on an ear o' corn, an' genrly speak about things in the ways we used ta speak back in them olden days.

Cornpoke's a fahn little place, where time goes slow and the folks is even slower. Ahr ahce-cream parlour's got 1 flavour, by jiminy it's vanilla. ahr womenfolks got legs hairier than mah mule, and they gots they own spitoon in tha saloon for their chewin tobaccer.

We gots a coupla spare beds for rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, ****-kickers and Methodists, so quit yer lollygagging and get on over.

Ah recommend ya jump on yer pony, and swing by for a look, who knows, maybe even rest up a couple o' days and practise yer verbosity in the language of frontier gibberish - it's ahr speshultee. Some of ahr boys can use their tongue better'n a 20 dollar *****, it's real pretty to listen ta.
 

DeletedUser5281

Jus' ta let y'all know, if ya wants an invite-tation, jus' sends a tel'gram ta "Garrety", an' he'll senja invite-tation right back.

Come on join Cornpoke -- we ain't gots much, but we sho' has fun!
:laughg::laughg::laughg:
 

DeletedUser

WEll folks, we's still got a couple a berths for ya, if you's interested in tryin' out ahr ahce-cream parlour jus' mosey on over, ya hear?
 

DeletedUser

Dang it, seems like frontier people these days dont seem interested in our little town. We're not so little any more, good facilities, hell, we even got an inside toilet now. Plenty of work nearby too.
 
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