On the contrary, when hats in your town are named "Hot Moose Knuckle" and "Captain Smacky", it's much more believable that
this is the real motivation behind your town's name. You admitted as much here:
(Sidebar - You think Trey Parker and Matt Stone make better movies than Fight Club? How long now until your sweet sixteen birthday party?)
Back on point - I'd expect something of this caliber from Captain Smacky, but your game's slipping a bit, Corganer. I have faith that you'll be back in top form soon. Handshake accepted
I've never talked to CarolAnn (or even heard the name), but best wishes to her and her family.