Schofield's literature

DeletedUser

(Michael can draw, and I can write :cool:)

Im going to post some of my writes which I work on every once in a while on here, Poems, Stories, ect.

Hopefully some of you all will enjoy reading what I've been putting myself through :laugh:
 

DeletedUser

David's Dueling Motto

If you are dueled, don't complain
You will have nothing to gain
But a years worth of pain;
Your family will be slain
There will be no more rain
Your armies will die in vain
Even if you decide to train
Or change to your main
You will fall...
And even as hell freezes over...
You will still remember my name.
I am the rider in fame
This is not just a game
While you are never going to be the same
You will know your efforts were lame
For I am here to tame.
 

DeletedUser

The Book Of David

My own story I wrote, also my first major one, done half a year ago at the least it seems, but compared to the new stuff I have been trying it is senseless rambling to me ;)

However, many people have enjoyed before, I assume, so here is a link to the page I posted, oh, a few months back. Enjoy!
http://forum.the-west.net/showthread.php?t=23811
 

DeletedUser

Personal Review of the Book Of David, by David.

Yeah, my long story is alright. My whole plot is horsecrap though. And ALL of my characters are so damn prim and proper it takes away alot of the impact and realism of the story.

~Here is my serious criticism of the book~

The fact that there was a battle between two cities in some constantly traveled location in the story never happened, it's pure fiction. And not to mention, the chapters were far too short. They gave too little detail about things, however I think I described the guns and their mechanics to speed, though. Apart from that, what was a six day train travel seemed like a twelve hour one, and its all too Grindhouse Movie estique. Well, that's my own criticisims on it, but many people enjoyed it. I also have a cliche' main character, surviving many thing with what seems to be either luck or divine intervention. Regardless, the ending of part 1 was lame, even on Marge Simpsons standards... Overall the middle of part 1 is the best write of all, Part 2 on my standards was trash, and Part 3 was too short and fast to read through to be worth my interest on continuing. I could summarize the locations traveled in less than 5 minutes, it's like the film "Wyatt Earp" with Kevin Costner, only everyone is a sophistocated snob!

Character development is poor, and the only characters I really even developed was the lead female of the story, and I believe I could have had her stay for longer but... After the 27th page I had lost alot of interest.



~(Aren't I a good book critic? And the fact that I am reviewing my own book as a piece of trash is, Rofl!)~

EDIT~ I just started reading it again. Maybe I overlooked it some, it was actually pretty good... till I got to the KKK attack...

OMG! THE KKK!!!! WERE ALL DOOMAD!!! BARRICADE THA DOARS!
Really seemed to be the reaction, and it had no lead up. Harvey seemed like a beloved guy in the town, and where did the bedcloth morons come from anyways???

~EDIT AGAIN~ Ok, after reading further, I feel as though I overreacted. It's a damn good little book :) Im still not going to like the ending of part 1, but oh well, may as well keep readin'.
 
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DeletedUser

Oh, I just wanted to tell you something.....

Don't ever post anything online that you may want to publish in the future; it will almost certainly be turned down.
-------------
Your book-thread seems pretty good, though I've only glanced over it. Your writing is similar to mine in terms of refinement, and (not to sound arrogant, of course) I write (according to tests and the such) on the level of a young college student....

The only reason why I didn't really read it was that you need to start new "paragraphs" every once in awhile, and possibly space between lines every once in awhile, so that it isn't just a large wall of text.
 
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DeletedUser

The only reason why I didn't really read it was that you need to start new "paragraphs" every once in awhile, and possibly space between lines every once in awhile, so that it isn't just a large wall of text.


It looks alot different on MS Word.

Also, my teachers try to encourage me to use my literary skills when I am prompted... They are always amazed at what I write on my own, but when I have writing prompts commanding me what to write, they always think I could do better. In unrestricted environments I excell above almost all students in the School. I am even restricted here which slows down my thought ability, and as you will see with my short February contest entry I have a lack of wording because it had to fit (It's around the maximum) and I had to use a small level of obscene things. I would have had it much more sexually backed, and much more morbidly backed.
 

DeletedUser

Yeah, I hate the prompts.... they limit your thought.
The only way I got through 5th Grade writing well was that I interwove all of my assessments together.

Well, you are the first person I've met, online or not, who writes stories like I do, LOL. I'm currently working on an alternate history where the CSA won the Civil War, though I can't post it (I may, someday in the far future, refine it and try to get it published....).

I'm going to read yours' and make a proper review. :)
 

DeletedUser

Yeah, I hate the prompts.... they limit your thought.
The only way I got through 5th Grade writing well was that I interwove all of my assessments together.

Well, you are the first person I've met, online or not, who writes stories like I do, LOL. I'm currently working on an alternate history where the CSA won the Civil War, though I can't post it (I may, someday in the far future, refine it and try to get it published....).

I'm going to read yours' and make a proper review. :)

I am completing a whole new version of my story. Sadly, no way am I posting it. Im publishing it :)

Sadly, If I publish it, all you guys will know who I am and where I live since people with my last name are incredibly rare........... and baseball players :sad:

That's a hint and Im never going to let you all figure it out because I'm far too unsure about myself to even know what my own politics and faith are... Not too liberal, not too conservative... Not religious, not athiest... :dry:
If I ever do get it published, and by chance any of you buy it (I'm only expecting Thomas to buy it, the rest of you would exile me for the limitless innuendos and violent and sexual themes in the new version)


And "David Schofield" is no longer the main name.... Maybe will be the title but not the main name. I may even refine the first name to something newer... Or probably not. Nothing, really, can replace the name David. The book is David and goliath themed, so I see no reason to change it.

Oh, back to your point on noone ever publishing it since it was posted on the internet, that's not true. On a certain forum for a different game, a guy made a story for the game and got it published in the US something. It's copyright now :sad:

I intend to just make the story then bleh, publish it and see if I make a dime.
 

DeletedUser

Hmmm. I never put anything sexual in my stories. Then again, I'm younger than you.
I don't hesitate to mention arms getting blown off by the cannons and stuff like that, though.

Well, I may one day stumble across said book.
 

DeletedUser

I liked your story Dave. Till you started ruining my character. Other than that, it was ok. Now, post something better or I will kill you.
 

DeletedUser

I liked your story Dave. Till you started ruining my character. Other than that, it was ok. Now, post something better or I will kill you.

Well he lived in the end (and made it to part 2 where he got shot but survived). He was never 'evil' and he was more of helping me in the story the whole time. Though yes, he was ruined after a while :sad:
 

DeletedUser

Mother Maya: Evil for Evil

Oh Maya,
thou hast one of the brightest personalities,
lighting up the eyes of the poor,
and enflaming the hearts of the rich.
Had I known less, I'd have accused you a witch.

Oh Maya, when I first saw thee,
I thought of ravaging you behind the bar,
for the simple price of a nickle
But lo and behold, you were more in key.

Your tender breasts were not for sale
and your bossom was reserved for a posse...
And lord, must I express,
I hate posses.

You send me on a quest,
you say to be the best,
and I save your kin,
from the jaws of the law,
yet his gratitude was never verified.

Further onwards, you bring me more employment.
Such duties are enough to cause one to be sore.
I would expect better rewards from such a *****...
As the has a thing in debt to me,
and the thing has never seemed so common, and yet so rare.

Oh Maya, Maya, Maya,
Your most recent quests,
have fatigued me the worst.
Yet I still haven't fed you my bratwurst...

Young Mike and Jenny,
Wedlock with no key,
I was sent to bring up your relationship,
Things seemed to go wrong,
but a bullet between the eyes,
for the lad whom was endeared with luck,
Was the order from Mother Maya...

Mike, thou fought dearly, yet firing not a shot,
but the bullet from my Schofield,
pulverised your cerebral cortex,
leaving you dead on the ground,
now unmarked six feet under.

Oh Maya, the least I could recieve is a free one...
As I have made young Mike be eternally gone...
And not even a remain in sight, nor of a single bone...
Of course, I had just thought I was done.

Yet another quest I am forced to endure,
to find an aireloom of the red man,
which you posess the information,
and plan on selling it, after all I have sacrificed,
for the tainted feminality of thee...

Sacrificing my budget, I return Waupees artifact,
What's this? Another quest! This one from Henry!
I travel to a far off town, covered in mist.
There I see the spirit of what was once beloved Mike.
I return to you yet again, Maya.

Oh Maya, you want me to slay a ghost?
And a bullet, art thou insane?
I travel anyways, in order to slay the demon spirit.
As before thought, the bullet doesn't hit the bone,
passing through into a crossing tumbleweed...

I return to you my beloved, this time I must slay another...
The woman once most faithful to Mike,
and whom I was planning to make faithful to me...
Thou hast crossed the line, mother Maya.
I take leave, journeying to Jenny
Whom sits outside of her house,
proud of her business.

I grip her in embrace, rubbing lips with hers.
What could have been a beast of two backs,
wasn't, as I pulled my revolver and placed a bullet...
Breaking her sweet heart...

With my knife I take a slice,
removing her soft braid of hair,
delivering it to the ***** in the house of Red Rum.
Maya accepts, and sends me to the ghost...
I give thee young Jennys lock of hair,
and he flees to the depths from whence he came.

I take a talisman dropped behind, and return to the saloon.
"Back so soon?"
I grip her, and rip her naked. I kick her into the middle of the room,
for the drunken turds to ravage.

Good bye mother Maya, I wish the many great children, please make them sons, as your sins shall not be carried onto your daughters!
 

DeletedUser

Mother Maya: Forever After

(Warning, not suitable for younger readers. Some content not especially good for childeren younger than 13.)

[spoil]My sweet, Today you are tender and soft,
your skin smooth with youth,
You smoke yet not have little a yellow tooth,
Yet you would please even John Wilkes Booth.

Today you are beauty,
but forever after...
You will pay for your sinship,
your mortal power will come to an end,
while your victims remain immortal
because you were so immoral.

Your dancers, Slippery slimey sluts,
with worms crawling out of their butts,
as you allow them to be played by mutts,
Once you bark your orders...
They drop the pipers flutes like a common klutz,
Ready to do thy bidding...

Most of all, you.
Your chest will begin to sag much like a bag,
men will begin to gag at the sight,
Not even a dog will wag.
Maya, you will become nothing more than a *****,
and that you shall remain, even in modern lore.[/spoil]
 
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DeletedUser

Thanks :)

Plus Im going to post that second version of 'the book of David' here eventually. Not worth publishing since I have no resources and a lack of knowledge of the lingo, and it has a clich'e love story twist within it too early.
 

DeletedUser

David, since i am not so good in English, could u describe some word for me :sad:
Done click if u are younger than 13 :)
[spoil]My sweet, Today you are tender and soft,
your skin smooth with youth,
You smoke yet not have little a yellow tooth,
Yet you would please even John Wilkes Booth.

Today you are beauty,
but forever after...
You will pay for your sinship,
your mortal power will come to an end,
while your victims remain immortal
because you were so immoral.

Your dancers, Slippery slimey sluts,
with worms crawling out of their butts,
as you allow them to be played by mutts,
Once you bark your orders...
They drop the pipers flutes like a common klutz,
Ready to do thy bidding...

Most of all, you.
Your chest will begin to sag much like a bag,
men will begin to gag at the sight,
Not even a dog will wag.
Maya, you will become nothing more than a *****,
and that you shall remain, even in modern lore.[/spoil]
 
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DeletedUser

(answered by PM)


Now, for Characters I have created for my story I have been working on
James West
[spoil]
| means older years.
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|
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Name: James Travis West

Nicknames: James, Colonel, Travis, James West, Colonel West, | Old Man

Age: 28 | 58
D.O.D. 1938
Race: Human, Caucasian

Gender: Male

Appearance: James is a serious looking man, who goes about his day in a no-bull manner. Various terrors in his life has brought him to this stance. He has a goatee, with an elegant moustache. He keeps his hair well parted most of the time in formality, but he doesn't require himself to be pretty all the time, only when around superior commanders and beautiful women. He wears gray clothing to symbolize his affiliation with the confederacy.
| James has the look of an experienced man who has been through harsh times in his life. His hair has grayed from its brown tinge. He is all business and takes crap from no one. His past seems behind him, yet it still is plain when he recollects his life at times. He still holds his elegant moustache, but he has allowed his goatee to transform into a short beard which he often trims. Sometimes he simply shaves his beard, leaving a small vertical line of beard under his lip. His face shows his years, yet he is still the old fighting spirit he once was.

Body Colour: White

Hair Colour: Brown
| Grayish brown

Eye Colour: Blueish green
| gray

Equipment: Colt Army Model 1860, 1860 officers saber
| Colt Bisley 1895 (Modified Peacemaker) and a Colt M1889 (m92) backup, A Winchester 1894, and an 1860 officers saber. He also carries a sawn down Colt 1878 coach gun.

Profession: Confederacy Colonel
| Bounty Hunter/Hired Gun

Personality: A tough soldier who proved competent to be given a position as an officer, but quickly promoted to Colonel due to his unwavering determination and loyalty. His opponents claim it was due to a shortage of Confederate colonels, yet he and his allies dismiss the accusation. He takes crap from no one, and he holds his friends close to himself. He is a deeply troubled man and he is a lone wolf from his family due to deaths and murder.
| As an old man James seems willing to go to great lengths to prove that he is a strong and willing individual that he once was. He still has the take-no-crap personality, and he is less troubled by his harsh past. Many men his age are frail, or dead. However, he is not like many men. He fights almost as strongly as he did in his youth, though he shares no mercy on those who have death coming to them, a trait picked up from years of betrayal, assassination, and murder.

Often Seen: In saloons, on the battlefield, with other leaders, or commanding regiments. Seen chatting with the local women at times, often being rather seductive.
| In saloons drinking, working as a hired gun, traveling with allies, or taking charge to complete an objective. Rarely acts as the loving gentleman to ladies that he once was, more of turning a blind eye to many, for he has grown accustomed to going about life in a serious and one-plain-goal manner.

Most known for: His courageous efforts to promote the Confederate cause. He was a charmer, after his wife’s death he began searching for many women to fill the role as his lover, but there were few, yet he appealed to them greatly.
| His good work as an on and off Gunman for hire, taking the role of Marshal in rowdy towns to help promote tranquility by force, and his veteran-ship from the civil war. Though he fought valiantly, he was a confederate. He often refrained from visiting the north. Two of his children were serving as Pinkertons for mining companies to the west, and do a moderately good job of it. James is well known for being an expert in military tactics, for employing a "Hammer and Anvil" ambush during the first battle of the bull run on a large but inexperienced regiment of Union soldiers encamped in a shallow valley. James charged in with cavalry, while Major Jackson "Jack of all trades" Balance, otherwise known as Peril, led a small group to entrench themselves in the path of the Union's retreat. As the soldiers were killed, wounded and captured by James's force, a small group of Kansas Jayhawkers led by Major Westwoods put up a fight against the Confederate forces, where in Westwoods and James engaged in hand to hand combat, ultimately injuring eachother but limping away from the scene. Later, James was injured at the battle of Gettysburg, and captured by Westwoods. Though he had the option of executing James by hanging, he had learned that his younger brother's life was spared, and saved, by James who told him to simply lie still in a trench.

Favorite Food: James enjoys a good dish of steak complemented with potato, a fine drink of Coffee or Whiskey, and perhaps a piece of cake occasionally.

Favorite Color: Many claim he loves the color grey, yet some claim he likes blue over it. Truth is, Gray and darker colors are appealing to him. If it has a golden outline to it, which reminds him of serving for the Confederacy, then he will cherish it for a while.
[/spoil]
Matthew West
[spoil]
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Name: Matthew Richardson West
Nicknames: Matt, Matthew Richardson, frère meurtrier (Brother's murderer)
Age: 26 | 56
D.O.D 1897
Race: Caucasian American
Gender: Male
Appearance: A scrawny runt before the Civil War, Matthew quickly sprouted his masculinity as blood began to pour. By 1862, Matthew had left home to fight for the Union against his brothers and heritage. Matthew had a short beard, strong build and was a Sociopathic narcissist.
Body Colour: White
Hair Colour: Brown | Slight gray tint.
Eye Colour: Grayish blue | Gray
Equipment: Henry Rifle, James West's 1848 Dragoon revolver (Stolen) | 1896 model Krag Jorgensen rifle, C-96 Autopistol, Sawn down and stockless Winchester M1887 shotgun.
Profession: Union Sergeant | Bounty Hunter/ Hired Gun
Personality: A narcissistic and sociopathic nutcase, Matthew slayed his own brother in the battle of Gettysburg
Often Seen: Gambling and drinking in saloons, with saloon girls, and traveling in his own gang of ruffians.
Most known for: Excellent work as a paid gunman, he his loyal to the dime, yet if insulted by the contracter, he isn't too scared of penalties for shooting a mans toe off.
Favorite Food: Chicken
Favorite Color: Red
[/spoil]
William West
[spoil]
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Name: William Anthony West
Nicknames: Will, William, Sergeant.
Age: 26
D.O.D 1863
Race: Caucasian American
Gender: Male
Appearance: A twin of Matthew West, his only difference is that he is slimmer during the Civil War.
Body Colour: White
Hair Colour: Brown
Eye Colour: Bluish green
Equipment: M1861 Springfield Carbine, LeMat revolver.
Profession: Confederate Sergeant.
Personality: A charming intelectual, the Civil war isn't really the right place for him. He is a pacifist, and refrains from fighting when he can. He has experience from schooling at west point, though he dropped out, which gave him his rank.
Often Seen: Studying, cleaning his rifle and clothing
Most known for: His service for the confederacy in the battle of Gettysburg.
Favorite Food: Turkey with gravy, Potatos, and shrimp.
Favorite Color: Green
[/spoil]


Harvey Clinton
[spoil]
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Name: Harvey Clinton
Nicknames: Hank, Clint, Mr. H
Age: 36
D.O.D. 1899
Race: African American
Gender: Male
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[/spoil]

David Parson (Price)
[spoil]

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Name: David Custer Parson (Born, David Custer Price)
Nicknames: David, Dave
Age: 21
D.O.D. 1959
Race: Caucasian American
Gender: Male
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[/spoil]
Ray Parson
[spoil]
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Name: Raymond Parson
Nicknames: Ray
Age: 23
D.O.D. 1897
Race: Caucasian American
Gender: Male
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Hiram Rhodes
[spoil]
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Name: Hiram William Rhodes
Nicknames: Hiram,
Age: 26
D.O.D. 1917
Race: Caucasian American
Gender: Male
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Katherine Rhodes
[spoil]
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Name: Katherine Sarah Rhodes
Nicknames: Katherine, Kate, Katie
Age: 22
D.O.D. 1943
Race: Caucasian American
Gender: Female
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Leroy McCoy
[spoil]
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Name: Leroy Augustus McCoy
Nicknames: Roy
Age: 38
D.O.D. 1897
Race: Caucasian American
Gender: Male
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Matt Jones
[spoil]
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Name: Bartholomew Matthew Jones
Nicknames: Matt
Age: 19
D.O.D. 1897
Race: Caucasian American
Gender: Male
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[/spoil]

Billy Jones
[spoil]
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Name: Benjamine William Jones
Nicknames: Billy, Ben
Age: 18
D.O.D. 1917
Race: Caucasian American
Gender: Male
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Warren Townsend
[spoil]
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Name: Warren Wright Townsend
Nicknames: Warren
Age: 28
D.O.D. 1897
Race: Caucasian American
Gender: Male
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[/spoil]

William Harrison
[spoil]
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Name: William Trousdale Harrison
Nicknames: Will
Age: 43
D.O.D. 1897
Race: Caucasian American
Gender: Male
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[/spoil]
 
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