P&P These lips were made for kissin'

DeletedUser

ogrelips.jpg

Princess Betsy of Ogre Lips seeks handsome princes
​

Now you are all familiar with the Disney model I'm sure. This is no fairy story, or at least not yet.

We are in dire need of a handsome prince or two to come and give us a big ole smacker on the lips though!

Princess Betsy, our damsel in distress, is in dire need of a team of said princes to come and ride rough shod over the noisy neighbours that are causing her to lose her perfect Disney hair on a daily basis.

disney-lied-about-hair.jpg


​
I should probably give you a little more background here, since, well, on the surface of it, our swamp is not the most hospitable of places.

When Princess Betsy first established our little town, she put her roots down in the middle of a stinking swamp, thinking that nobody would mind too much if someone staked a claim in such a, frankly, god awful place. Turns out she was wrong...the Hombres moved in next door and immediately begun making some pretty unreasonable demands, such as:

"Eh Princess, you make your town be called like Hombre no? You do theees or you become just another hole in the ground eh gringo?"

Hombre.JPEG

​
(Please adopt suitably "Hombre like" accent when reading blue text!)

Well, before she drank that damn potion, Princess Betsy was well used to being waited on hand and foot by her serving staff and, yes, having an army at her disposal. Her reply may not have properly reflected the updated circumstances she now finds herself in:

"Well excuse me, but I am subservient to no man, I am a Princess god damn it and you will NOT tell me what to do!"

(Again, please adopt a suitable accent for a slightly haughty and above herself posh bint!)

So, things move on, and these Hombres start to ruffle her normally perfect disney hair on a daily basis, not to mention anyone else that might be in the swamp at the time. Now I will be slightly honest here, all us ogre types are a little hard of thinking, so yes, we have wandered out of the swamp to give the Hombres the odd cuddle, after all, we like cuddles!

shrek3d.jpg

​

Now though, they seem to have decided that they are to be the dragon that guards this prison for our princess and are spending waaaaaay too much of their obviously not that valuable time hanging around in the swamp chucking rocks at us all.

shrek2.jpg

​

The moral of the story? Well, heck, there isn't one...but if you would like to come and be one of our princes, well, feel free! We can't promise you all perfect Disney hair, but we can give you all the rocks you need to come and play with the neighbours.

One word of caution, attempting to kiss Princess Betsy might not be that advisable, especially of a morning...she can be a little cranky if her hair isn't right!


Recap:

Betsy builds Ogre Lips
EL HOMBRE NUEVO send her a "Add our name to your town or we will ruffle your hair every day" demand
Betsy says no and 3 other gutless towns say yes
Ogre Lips ends up with a duelling cycle of inbred hombres every five minutes throughout the day and whilst it manages to fight back a little, is now looking for 5 more hitters to come and put the smack on the neighbours!
 
Last edited by a moderator:

DeletedUser

LOL that was good except El Hombre is not that strict and there good friends and of course you give greif my town gives grief to a ytown called huggables right next to us its just the way it goes
 

DeletedUser

Awww we know the huggables...but their hugs are sucky compared to ours! :D
 

DeletedUser

Wait...you want her to open up her flower to you? That sounds inherently dangerous to me!

I think you would just be safer asking for hugs, we always give out our hugs liberally :D
 

DeletedUser

Does that video have anything to do with anything? It has mexicans in.. That's literally the only link I can make..
 

DeletedUser

The Princess has, I'm sure, no need of Pinatas. If she did, of course her collection would be both bountiful and awesome and therefore the envy of the Hombres. As it stands, I can only assume that they are envious instead of the plethera of mud holes we have in our swamp.

They needn't be too worried though, soon their littered bodies will fill those holes more than adequately...alas of course this means our plethera will be gone...or whatever...I don't really know where I'm going with this...

Let's just have a group hug instead

shrek4and5.jpg
 

DeletedUser

Elizabeth Turner said:
Does that video have anything to do with anything? It has mexicans in.. That's literally the only link I can make..
Click to expand...

It has alot of things in common with the situation actually.

1) A bunch of dirty bandits want a woman and her town
2) The woman rejects them
3) Although it is not in that video, three valiant heros free her from their grasp and save the day.
 

DeletedUser

:blink:Is that addressed to Da man 2b or to our huggable ogres? I'm damn sure we aren't overrun with our own "duellers" although we might have hugged you once or twice
 

DeletedUser

I must admit I found this very funny. Not very factual but very funny.
I am the big bad Hombre Betsy is talkin about.
Yes we asked if Ogre Lips wanted to Join us
Yes I told her we would be kickin butt in the area.....I thought this was the west...What did she expext from a roudy bunch of no good drunken duelers right next door.

But this is where things get a bit mixed up. We made peace with the bunch of tea sippin, tree hugging, hippy girls at ogre lips. It hurt me to tell my guys to stay away from them for no good reason but I did.......They choose to break it. Not us.

So cry me a river nancy boy. And say hello to my little friend the muzzleloader

(But it was a funny post. A for effort girl scouts)
 

DeletedUser

Mad Mexican said:
I must admit I found this very funny. Not very factual but very funny.
I am the big bad Hombre Betsy is talkin about.
Yes we asked if Ogre Lips wanted to Join us
Yes I told her we would be kickin butt in the area.....I thought this was the west...What did she expext from a roudy bunch of no good drunken duelers right next door.
Click to expand...

hmm. You make your initial telegram sound so innocent. Let me refresh your memory, just in case you have deleted it. :rolleyes:
Howdy Betsy

I am one of the founders of the Hombre towns in w11
You may have noticed we have a town next door to you.
I have 44 guys coming and we are all about the fight.

I would like to offer you the opportunity to become a hombre town right now. We normally take a town by force but with so many members and so little room this might be better for all.

The conditions to be Hombre are
1. One of our members becomes Co Founder
2. We set all diplomatic ties....we do not like being allies with every tom dick and harry. We stand alone as much as possible
3. the town name must contain Hombre

To which, I replied: Nice of you to think of my little town, but I do believe I will have to decline your offer. :) I could say "I" at that time, because that's all there was. Just little old me in my itty-bitty town.
You said: thats no drama Have fun :)

Now, this is where things got a bit mixed up as far as I could tell. I thought that would be it. I declined your "offer" and you were fine with that. For about, for about 3 hours. :dry:
are you sure

You have never met a better bunch

They will protect you with there lives

So, you got the long version of my refusal. And shortly after that, I was dueled for the first time. :sad:

Now, my town is not so little anymore. And I have found more than a few fine soldiers to help protect the town and its occupants without having to give total control of my town to tequila guzzlin', siesta driven, sombrero wearing bandidos with little dogs yipping at their heels.


Mad Mexican said:
(But it was a funny post. A for effort girl scouts)
Click to expand...
It was, wasn't it?
 

DeletedUser

Hey now, do I jump in your bed to talk about my dinner last night? Trust me, you don't want ogres in your bed, now sling your hooks before I persuade Princess Betsy to have you both for dinner.

I don't mean socially!
 

DeletedUser

After losing my arm in the war, i became a wanderer, and one day Betsy came up to me. After telling her my story, she decided to teach me the way of the one arm quick draw.

Yeah i got bored halfway through. Hai Guyz.
 

DeletedUser

Sure my offer did sound a bit ruff. Us drunken yobbo Mex's arent know for our delicate ways.
You said no and I replied "OK have fun" ohhhhh...so threatening

And I never hit you once....I just didnt tell my guys NOT to hit you. You dont live in fairyland on lollypop lane....Its the WEST scooter.
The towns that joined us are having a blast....We helped them with builders and other players and we all work as a team. Sounds to me that you just sad cause you turned down the offer and now we KO you at will.

And You keep forgetting the peace treaty that YOU broke

Put some cement in your tequila and harden up Nancey. (or did we steal all your tequila too. Or maybe you prefer a half cafe decafe soy latte with a twist of lime)

Well I hope your recruitment drive goes well against us big bad meanies
Maybe I should do the same....If you are a dueler or soldier looking for fun and action, free tequila and dancing girls, no dueling rules then come on down. And the best thing is there is a big bunch of mamas boys living right next door. Cant get easier XP and cash than that
 

DeletedUser

Here is a policy i follow, ive been here since the start, the game was never designed for mass alliances, duel policies, any rubbish like that. Sadly being an old person i stand by this decision, i follow no rules of the people who simply try ruin a game with stupid idea's.

Simple fact is, ill eat you all.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top